You get to choose, the what or the how...

My husband has always had a saying: "You can tell me what you want done, or you can tell me how you want it done, but you can't tell me both."

The idea is simple. If I tell him what outcome I'm looking for, then it's up to him to figure out the best way to achieve it using his own knowledge and judgment. He's responsible for the result.

If I dictate exactly how I want it done, though, then the responsibility for the outcome shifts. He's no longer solving the problem—he's simply following instructions, and the results are a product of my method rather than his expertise.

It's his way of saying that ownership and autonomy go hand in hand.

I feel the same way about self-help books. They offer a lot of guidance. They are well written manuscripts of either steps on HOW to do something, or WHAT the outcome looks like. But what I found after reading dozens of them is that the HOW usually does not work over the long run for me. So I turned to astrology for help with that.

Everyone's needs are different. Even identical twins have different chemistry and different needs. So when someone writes a book meant to help people. I think that what they want to do is sincerely help them as much as they can. I have always admired authors who write books meant to help us grow and improve. My challenge is "the devil is in the details". If I am trying to use a new communication method, and I think I understand the author's instructions but it doesn't seem to be working how do I improve? Where do I got to get the tips and tricks to employ the guidance? Strangers don't really know me, online forums are good for some things but again it's all taking in someone else's point of view and trying it out. Astrology does something different. It teaches me what my natural tendencies are, so I can develop my HOW on my own.

In this season when Mercury has entered Cancer, and is in a favorable aspect to Uranus we are influenced by a long running emotional pressure to break out of old communication patterns and express ourselves in more authentic ways. For those who struggle with public speaking, Mercury in Cancer inspires you to connect with the part of you that believes deeply in the power of keeping people safe through giving them a voice. Learning about these energy patterns informs your HOW and helps you to be more successful. Success is born from preparation, and that means more than reading a self-help book -- it means building on their lessons to create real, long lasting habits.

Venus is entering into some favorable transits with Saturn and Neptune - these energies can influence how we related to romance, fun, creativity, and love in our lives. Venus rules the areas of our lives that need softness, gentility, romance, and sense of wonder and mystery. Without these things we lack inspiration and our daily lives become dull and lifeless. Coaxing more of these inspirational energies into our lives is more successful when we know how we experience them. One person's definition of romance is different from another person's.

"You can tell me what, or you can tell me how but you can't tell me both." Within ourselves, we can do both. We are in control, and the more we learn about ourselves and how these energies impact our experiences the more successful we will be in everything that we do.