The end of the badass, and why it matters to your success

A month spent recovering from a neurological condition taught me a lot. I had a shingles outbreak at the start of July, and spent the whole month learning why being a badass doesn’t matter anymore. Our nervous systems control a lot more than most of us realize, I think. We don’t see how many millions of signals fire across an area of our bodies until those signals are nothing but pain. Then, we learn. It’s hard to go from being someone who pushed herself hard and reveled in her successes to someone who needed help getting from the bed to the bathroom without breaking down in tears. I needed to learn to forgive myself for many things. This is the lesson… forgiving myself is the end of my badass identity.

We are currently in Leo season. Astrologically that falls between July 23rd and August 22nd. This matters because Leo energy is about love, but it’s a special kind of love. Leo energy is about seeing the good in people, including yourself. Healthy Leo energy shines warmth, optimism, and kindness across the spectrum of human frailties and flaws. It’s not interested in perfection, that is the realm of Virgo. Leo is about laughter, smiles, and the chaos and imperfections of humanity.

Innovation, creativity, expansion and truly inspirational solutions are born in safety and love. Many great authors have cited both personal and professional experience that has proven this to be true yet as adults we push ourselves into these tight, restrictive, judgmental boxes and then wonder why we are not succeeding. We push ourselves harder, work longer, sacrifice more and yet success seems to move farther and farther away. Why? Because even though there are specific times when that discipline matters, it mostly doesn’t when it kills the forgiveness and kindness of self-love. We need that open hearted acceptance to truly grow and evolve into the power of being human without the perfection. Then success shows up easier and more authentically than it ever could before.

Being a badass means pushing through the pain, it means glorifying the sacrifice and honoring the strength it takes to keep going when your heart and soul are aching for rest and safety. I vote for a new definition of the badass. I vote for one who honors their internal need for sunlight, good music, hugs, and a day spent just living life as a human being. I vote for the death of the badass that celebrated self-destruction for the sake of some nebulous goal called success and the birth of a new badass that loves themselves like it’s a whole life goal. Because when you can’t get out of bed without being in mind splitting pain, when you have to measure the success of your day based on whether you can take a shower without crying then you learn how much of your human experience is at the mercy of the very things we ignore in favor of being a badass. When I realized that I was making more progress healing by doing less, I learned to forgive myself for needing rest in between work. I learned to forgive myself for needing to prioritize tasks in terms of what was vital, and what was ego. Read: it doesn’t matter if the kitchen smells like dog if you have a healthy lunch and a nap. I also forgave myself for years of living on the marrow of badassery instead of slowing down a bit and learning to enjoy the full meal of just being around my kids’ experiencing life. That one is still a work in progress, to be honest.

So, let’s all agree to kill off the glory of being a badass. Let’s agree that sunshine, laughter, and just being a human is enough for everyday of our lives and everything above that is a decision we make in the context of being frail, flawed, and full of fears about what might happen. Let’s give our souls the power of forgiveness of our limitations, and then see how they grow and shine in the joy of creativity and delight. Leo energy is right here, in our bodies, fueling this need. Listen to it, hear the soft, small voice of your inner child asking for a break and for a hug. And then give it.

May your inner voice rise up stronger than your outer one and start directing your life toward the roles, the work, and the choices that feed your soul.